Today I tried a recipe that I found online. It’s actually the second time I’m trying it, and its the second time its been bad…
When I woke up I was craving whatever the flavor of this cinnamon roll is, so I tried to give it a second chance. It was just as I suspected… It hit the spot, but god it is not a cinnamon roll.
The recipe calls for flour, greek yogurt, and protein powder, all mixed together to make a dough. Then you melt butter, mix it with cinnamon, brown sugar, and spread it on the dough. Then you roll up the dough, cut it into pieces, and then bake the little pieces into rolls. Then you whip up some cottage cheese, almond milk, and vanilla extract, to make the frosting.
I literally don’t even know how anyone who made this recipe thought it would be good, just reading that back is horrendous. There’s not even an attempt to make the frosting sweet?? Also the cinnamon? The recipe calls for a tablespoon. A TABLESPOON. For a maximum of FIVE cinamon rolls, each 1 inch in diameter if you’re lucky. Its an inferno of cinnamon in your mouth, it’s strong.
And for what I said about rolling it up? Ya good luck. It was not easy. It sticks to everything so make sure to flour up the parchment paper you’re working on, and wet your fingers before you touch it. Now, to be fair, I did substitute the greek yogurt in the recipe with a sugar free vanilla greek yogurt that I had. The second time I used plain non-fat yogurt. So perhaps the struggles I had is due to that. I will say, the sugar free greek yogurt worked better (but not well, I got 4 different chunks out of it, but they were hardly “rolled”).
Here’s what it looked like going in the oven:
Hold on to your socks, cuz here’s what it looked like when it came out:
As you can see, its hard to know when its done cooking. Now I will say, it tastes much beter than it looks. But yikes.
Now my point with this post is “wtf.” I got this from a girl who advertized it as “macro friendly.” This is straight up the type of food that I would make when I was avoiding carbs, fat, sugar, oil, freakin everything. After seeing these recipes I became very suspicious of the “food freedom” girlies who, at least in some corners, have found a way to package the same old fad diet shit into an appealing and “healed” pill that’s easier to swallow.
I don’t want to entirely knock this, becuase as I spoke with my roommate we agreed that there might be a place for food like this. As I said, it wasn’t horrible. And I woke up craving it today. So if you’re not interested, skip it. If you want a cinnamon roll, skip it. But if you WANT this… go off. This is the thing for you, who cares if it doesn’t taste like a cinnamon roll, so long as THIS is what you’re after. There, in my life, is a fine line between making things like this becuase you want to, and making things like this because you feel you have to.
From that perspective, I won’t accuse anyone who makes foods like this of still having an eating disorder, or being restrictive or anything. Maybe you can argue restrictive, but whatever, who cares. The major thing here is the distress. If eating things like this doesn’t cause you distress, then go off, you’re recovering, you’re healed. Just do me a favor, when you sit down to eat this, ask yourself why. And, for me, just make sure its for the right reasons.
If anyone wants, the recipe is here:
Dough:
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup greek yogurt
1/2 scoop vanilla whey protein powder
mix it together in a bowl, spread it into a flat rectangle on a floured piece of parchment paper
Filling:
1 Tablespoon of butter
1 Tablespoon of cinnamon
1 teaspon of brown sugar
add it all to a bowl, microwave it for 30 seconds, then spread it on the dough
now do your best to roll the dough into a cylinder, cut it into chunks, then toss them in the oven at 350 until it’s done (about 10 minutes)
Frosting:
2 Tablespoons of cottage cheese
2 Tablespoonds of almond milk
1 tap of vanilla extract
blend it all together, then put it on your cinnamon rolls when they’re done (or dip them, I find thats better)